Before Akon Know Liberia - Good Good

We on the motorbike going now Zegle-zegle-teh ask me say, "you hear the thing what Alfred Paye say about your ma; what-thing you coming do?"

Myself was thinking about the thing hard. Alfred Paye brought the news that my mother was in very bad serious health condition. She sent the message for me to find money and come quick because somebody put witch on her. They say one snake came to her in her dream and in the morning she woke up and her whole foot was swollen. She thinking say one woman from the next town witched her for jealousy business. Yeah. Nimba County get too much medicine and witch.

The way I now talk plenty about the Nimba County people own of something let me talk about some of the different-different other tribe them before the people come say I want spoil their name. We get plenty tribe in Liberia; some people say about 15 some people say it reaching 30. The way you count depend on how you distinguish one tribe from another, but even normal days, the thing was chakla-chakla. The most way people like to find differences between the people that in the dialects, but even self that one not correct. Just take the Krahn people for instance – you passing in Grand Gedeh, the way the place big so, and the people not too plenty, you want speak-say hello to the people, each area you go the people answer you different way. Even self that the same Krahn people everywhere, and it is just like that throughout Grand Gedeh what in Liberia going all the way inside Cote d'Ivoire. And when you reach the Cote d'Ivoire side that the same Krahn people again but they can answering your greetings in different-different ways.

The Krahn people looking just like the Gio people and they living right next to each other what make it that in olden times they can marry among themselves and fuss among themselves too much. Five minutes they friendly, five minutes they want fight. The Mano people what living among the Gio on the other side can marry the Krahn and Gio plenty too, but they say those other two tribes are too uncivilized, that's why they like fighting business for. But let me take time with the Krahn people yah! One thing about them, they are too vengeful and hard to forget a grudge. Gio people own, they can forget. But before they forget, they like to pay their debt.

Don't underestimate Grand Gedeh people! Since before the Congo people come, even before the Mandingos self, those people able smelt iron — especially in the Putu range. In those olden times, they along with Kpelle people, they the ones making iron tools to trade with all the other tribes. The Nimba County people used to get more cattle and able to fix fine-fine brass jewelry what they used to barter with the Grand Gedeh people for their iron tools.

The main palaver between the Nimba County people and the Grand Gedeh people which we can just say are Krahn, all started with the palaver between Samuel K. Doe and Thomas Quiwonkpa. Who expected that kind of thing to escalate into wicked genocide on both sides? Then the people spoiled it again by spreading it all over Liberia. But let me leave that one before the people say I coming talk politics.

In fact, among all the plenty tribes in Liberia, the only good-good people for true that's the Kpelle. If God bless you, you love a Kpelle woman and marry her, your whole life coming be happy. Except if that Monrovia girl, for Monrovia girls them all spoiled — even Kpelle and all. The Kpelle people are very plenty, but they are so submissive and quiet you can't hardly know. Although they plentiful, Kpelle people meetings can't be active like Nimba County meetings. They don't like too much politics and they don't get too much problems. You go their meetings you can't hardly see somebody, and Kpelle people don't get plenty jealousy. They are easy. If you ever do something bad to somebody, just pray that Kpelle man. Small talking and he will forgive you.

But you make mistake you fall in love with a Kru woman! They say, simple mistake – you out! And the problem again, Kru woman get passion. Even their men them can get vex, but their women worse. No woman in Liberia can love to you like Kru woman. You fall in love with Kru woman, it's just like to say you jump inside the cooking pot; you coming to eat good, but you coming cook yourself the same time. Even self they living on the big-water, Kru people that so so fire. For relationship business, no water there, only fire. The jealousy and passion Kru women get you will never be able to find peace in your house – whole day fighting and making love business. You make small mistake your eyeballs look to the side; just forget about it.

Bassa people own, they also plenty and they are too civilized. For long they have been on the coast near the Congo people. That's why you will find so so of them get houseboy job, driver job, plumber job and different-different job what people can get in town. Bassa people that good people and they like fun; they can able to play fine-fine music — but they not like plenty farming business and they lazy for physical work. If you look at their interior mud houses self, they are small compared to the other tribes. You can't hardly stand inside. The other people laughing at them say it just for sitting down to get out of the rain or for making love. And those people can love o. You get lover, don't make mistake you leave them among the Bassa people. And when your lover that Bassa, don't be jealous, just forget about playing jealousy because you not able to mind them. When Bassa people not grow plenty food to eat, they just pick small-small plums, oranges, coconuts, sugarcanes and things, anything that in season, and put it on the side of the road and go lay down — when car stop, they running there to sell it. So so laziness.

The Vai people own, they are too intelligent. Of all the people in Africa, of the hundreds and hundreds of tribes them, the Vai are one of only six that developed their own written language that is not based on the direct influence of foreign people. They fix that one hundreds of years ago just before the Congo people reach on this side. It not even looking like Arabic or English, they get their own something with written symbol for each of their own of sound. Only thing, the way people not get respect for good interior something in Liberia, they can't hardly use it this time. Yeah! And the Vai people so clever they protect their own of land, and not sell all like the Bassa people or let different people come overthrow them like the Loma.

Let me come talk about the Loma. Those people own of story not finish yet. Those people what used to be friendly to the Mandingo people and used to be brave because they use to have plenty policeman and soldierman job under the Congo people in normal days, come see them now. But let that story stay, I want talk about what happened when I reach Waterside.

We reach Waterside, Zegle-zegle-teh say, "I want eat some of your money what you coming to get o."

I say, "Eh Zegle-zegle, I not get the money yet, and the way I looking jammed. Let me see what-thing I coming get from my other friend. Thank you yah for the ride my brother."

Zegle-zegle-teh say, "no problem my brother. Let God be with you, I going look for passengers."

I reach the store what my Lebanese friend get I spy him and say, "Hello mister Fa'ha! I come see you today o!" The man what name Farhan, what to say he tell me say it mean happy in his own of Lebanese dialect; but I not able to speak that one, it too hard. So I just call him mister Fa'ha.

He spy me he say, "Hello Kato. How're you doing today?"

I tell him say, "My friend, it not easy o! I come beg you for help. I looking for job."

Mister Fa'ha looking at me he laughing, he say, "My man, what kind of job I get for you? You don't know we're in Liberia? They get more than 75% unemployment – why you not trying to sell something? Everybody trying to sell something these days." He spent long to Waterside, his own of English clear, but it still get Lebanese sound inside it.

I answer, "I not even get money to buy something to sell. Then my mother what in the interior, I hear say they witched her. She sick and no way to even go. My farm what I get in the interior, I get plenty cassava and banana there. But no good road, so no way to bring the thing to market here in town. And before I can carry it, if I pick the banana or dig the cassava from in the ground, all will spoil in the sun. And then I get another problem again. I spy one girl, I love her, I find out say that's Tubman's granddaughter. How to get the girl? I don't know. Things just looking sorrowful."

My friend looking at me, he say, "Kato, I think you should forget about the Tubman girl. Those Americo-Liberian girls coming back from America where they get educated while we were here in the war, myself not able them. They already get money and education. What-thing you can do for them to make them love you? But I coming do something for you I can't do for nobody here in Liberia. My own-self woman I can't want do it for them. I will credit you 100 US dollars and mark it in my book. When you get chance, you pay me."

Oh! Come see me dancing happy around the man! I say, this other my Lebanese friend, he's good o! Soon I get the money, I rushing to go.

Before I Reach Waterside

I thinking how to reach Waterside for I not get plenty money again (only 10 Liberty in my pocket) and I way to Lonestar Office, God just bless me I spy one my friend them, one Gio boy that get motorcycle passing on the main road. The man first name Zegle-zegle-teh, what meaning to say, Small-Zegle-zegle in the Dan dialect. But we can just call him Zegle-Zegle for short.

I running behind him yelling, "Zegle-zegle! Zegle-zegle!" He spy me and turn around straight.

Soon he reach me he speak to me, "oh! Kato, babwaaa," and I answer him, "ahooo. Then he ask me, Ko mein?" And I answer, "Dae Suh."

Now the thing that I not want talk it until now, that my own of tribe business. My ma say my pa that Congo man, but he not agree to say that I his child for he say my ma sleeping around too much. Then he want marry one different woman again. My ma that Bassa, but when her own of people hear that the Congo man not want her, they not agree for her to hold the belle, what make it she jump behind one Gio man, he carry her to Nimba County. The Gio man what my ma staying with him, he acting too fine to me, just like to say I his own self born child. For that thing reason, I take him to be my pa and I able to speak Gio clear – the Gio people self can swear say I Gio man. Then again, that the place where I join the bush own of society.

Zegle-zegle self that student that studying to the university, and he using his motorcycle for taxi job to get money when he get chance. He can carry three, sometime he force it he carry four passengers at the same time, he making good money. He staying right on Duport Road in the same zinc house, right next to the place where I living at.

I talk to him, I say, "Zegle-zegle I beg you come carry me Waterside, I looking for money bad way, I low on cash just now to catch car, I thinking say one of my friend there I know can help me."

Zegle-zegle say, "Eh my brother, no problem. Only thing, we rushing for Nimba County meeting. Come let's go, when the meeting finish I will carry you Waterside."

Myself, I happy to go to Nimba County meeting! It can be too enjoyable. Nimba County people like talking business. In fact self, all Liberian people like talking business – but Nimba County people own of talking worse. Those people can talk! You in Nimba County town in the interior, small palaver, that three day talking. And everybody got to be inside. But the other thing what I like about them, they get unity. That for those people unity business nobody able them. But Gio people get to much of jealousy. Anything one Gio person get, the other one want the same thing.

When only Gio people among themselves, they can say the Mano people get dry-face. And when only Mano among themselves too, they can say the Gio too uncivilized, just like to say they themselves better off. But you put any different people among them, just like to say the Gio and Mano that not two people, that one man. No differences. They can't even say Gio and Mano, they just say Nimba County people. But don't try to put Nimba County Mandingo person inside. You spoil it.

We rushing to reach the meeting near the place where Police Academy, one policeman trying to stop us on the road for his cold club beer. Zegle-zegle dodge the policeman with the motorbike he not want stop, what make it we almost knock one taxi bending from in the junction. The cabman dress the car to the side not to cause accident, that what make it, the car go in the gutter. The cabman cuss us, he hollering, "you damn stupid ass! That stupidity what make it they can kill plenty of y'all motorcycleman-them on the road here in Liberia."

Yeaaaah.. That one make me damn vex! My friend what helping me to carry me on motorcycle fine way like that, the other man come cuss him; it leave small for me to jump from on the motorbike to go beat his ass. I getting ready to jump that Zegle-zegle self stop me, he say, "My-man, we already rushing to meeting you want the policeman catch us, he eat our money we be late? Leave that man. That for-nothing talk."

I turn around to cuss him good, "I see the policeman now finish grabbing the cabman. No way for him to run. The way how the policeman acting vexed self, I know he happy like hell – for that not club beer again, that one whole Guinness stout he coming drink on the cabman for his falling in the gutter business before he release him. If the policeman lucky, the cabman rushing for passengers, he coming get one $5 scratch card; he now finish forgetting about us long time he know he coming to eat small money. I look at the cabman, I holler, "It sweet for you!"

Zegle-zegle and myself reach the meeting we on time. When we say we on time here in Liberia, we meaning to say, the majority of the people or some kind of big person we waiting for have not arrived yet so the event not yet start formally. For instance, if that 4 o'clock meeting, it reach 6 o'clock, and the majority of people not reach yet, you still on time. Only thing, the way how Liberia looking, some people like to be exact, so when that 4 o' clock meeting, they can come two hour ahead of time, by 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock they there. Why they can do that one, I not know. But they get plenty people like that in Liberia too. Most people in Liberia not exact, but do they not like to be late, and they know they get plenty people they coming to meet to talk different-different things. Those that already arrive will be relaxing easy, but the majority can always come on time; which can usually be one or two hours after the appointed hour. For this reason, any simple meeting in Liberia, can be whole afternoon event and good for socializing.

We reach inside, come see the big-big people on stage: Prince Johnson o, Peanut Butter o, big-big people, ministers and all there! The place pack with so so Nimba County people, the majority there that in-town (Monrovia) student's what come from Nimba County doing different-different things in town. Some market people, some that union people, teachers, mining people, sawyers and others just passing through town for short time, man-them looking for woman, woman-them looking for man, and anybody interested in politics, they all there. The only people not want come that big-money business people – because when they reach there the people will give them too much hard time for contribution and so so begging.

I meet plenty people I not see for long time, but the main one I spy I want talk to that Alfred Paye who just coming from Jojotuo, the same town my own-self mother staying at. I want speak to him to hear news but the people starting the opening something. Myself want join inside. I will look for him later.

The Reverend on the stage speaking, "Nimba County Kabwaa?!!"
The people answering him, "Ahoooo!!!

He ask again louder,"NIMBA COUNTY, KABWAAA??!!!!!"
All of us answering him louder too, "AAAHOOOOO!!!!!!!"

"Ka sieh kpa taw-la!"
"TAW ZIEH, TAW ZIEH, TAW ZIEH FEFE-LOU!!!!!"

"Ka sieh kpa fruu la!"
"FRUU ZIEH, FRUU ZIEH, FRUU ZIEH FEFE-LOU!!!!!"

"Nimba County, kabwaa?!"
"Ahoooo!!"

Then the meeting now start and the first person on the stage ready to lecture. All that talking, the people have finished pronouncing their unity; speaking say that no gossiping and corruption should be among them. Even self they not agree on everything and make palaver, they will talk it openly and make joint decision for the good of the people. If all Liberians were coming to do their own like Nimba County people, then the Liberian people unity complete. They say Liberia people get that thing, what they call it – democracy. It sounding just like the Nimba County people own of behavior among their selves.

Before Lebanese Man Come

Yeah! I get two things and one other thing on my mind now. The first important one, I must find way to get the Akon ticket. The other one again, the Tubman girl now burn my heart bad way. I must look for way to marry the girl. Then I must not forget about my ma mattress business, what make it I not go in the interior for long time. I too shame to go there with my empty hands.

I move from Cellcom office I say let me go check to Lonestar. In fact self I more used to Lonestar cell phone from way Charles Taylor time, and the name sounding just fine, for national pride. But I now reach there, the people vex like hell. Cellcom bring those cheap-cheap bonanza phone, and their own of people all in the bush putting up cell phone antenna – so good network all the way to Guinea, then on top of that, they coming bring Akon again. The place what not get landline telephone in normal days, come see the people all in the bush carrying bonanza phone. The people not get electric current, but they there using generator to charge phone. I say!! Business competition can do good-good thing for the people o!

But the Lonestar people looking sorrowful; and no plenty selling phone until their own of cheap ones arrive. They get the same fine-fine girl them working in customer service. No man job. They just sitting down waiting for their own of cheap phone to come for them to sell to bring customers, but no job there for me. That what make it I say let me go look for one Lebanese friend I get, he get shop to Waterside. That my good-good friend from ever-since we sit we talk some kind of deep-deep something I learn plenty about the Lebanese people I not know before.

That one Sunday, I spy him, he just sitting down – he not want go to church. I not know what-thing come over me I just ask him say, "what you religion?"

He say, "I Druze."

I say, "Whattin?!"

He say, "move from here man, you not know the thing."

I just laughing, he can't speak good-good English, but when he ready, he can just put one-one good something inside.

I say, "Where you learn to talk that one?"

He say, "Move from here man, I born here."

I say, "But you Lebanese man. How you manage?"

He say, "Ever since – my people here. I was born here in Monrovia. But because I Lebanese man, I can't be Liberian. So I can just go Lebanon, I come back. If that was a different place, like America, I would have received citizenship a long time ago. All my children from Liberian women that I have here, they are Liberian. Some of them run away, some I sent America for the war. But I the pa who sitting down here throughout the war, I can't get citizenship."

I say, "Thank God for that self. You get citizenship, the whole country for you. That the best thing the people think to do, not to give y'all citizenship before y'all come control everything."

He say, "That kind of talking is the reason I don't invest any money in this country. I don't care who is in government, so long as I can dash them for whatever I need. I just fix my shop. I fix my house, but as soon as I make money, I send it Lebanon. During the war, most of the Liberian business people ran away. I sat down right here. Not for me, who is able to import?"

I answer him, "the Fula people."

He answer too, "but even the Fula people and the Mandingo people too. You hardly want to accept them because they are Muslim; even though some of them have been in this country since before the Americo-Liberians. Sometimes you can say they not true Liberians, even though you know they Liberian. But they are black, so you agree for them to have citizenship. Me I white, so no citizenship.

So I ask him again, "I say, you Muslim, that why you don't want go to church?"

He say, "No. I'm Druze."

I say, "What-thing you talking so. I not hear that one."

He say, "that's my ethnic group and my religion. That's something we don't like to talk about here too much."

I say, "Wait now; you want tell me say white Lebanese man them get tribe?"

He say, "You never heard about the Lebanon Civil War? We have plenty Muslims in Lebanon; Shiites, Sunnis, we even have Palestinian refugees, then we have Christians. All that one can call themselves Arab, and we have Druze — that one different."

I look at him for long time, I say, "What kind of civil war and refugees you get in Lebanon? That place where so-so money going at. I beg you yah! Don't come fool me man. Just say you Muslim."

He say, "The one that you want to believe is your business, but I'm telling you I'm Druze."

I ask him say, "What thing that-thing you call y'all believe? Y'all believe in Jesus or Mohammed?"

He say, "I don't know too much. I'm young yet to know the thing good, and our religion is a secret religion. We can't talk about it. Only the people that go into it deep can know all about it. The only thing I can tell you is that when we die, we can be reborn in a different person's body. But besides that, I can't say anything more; if you're not born inside, you can't join, and if you're not inside, you can't know. Even I myself don't know enough. Only thing I know, I'm Druze; but over here, the Liberian people can just say, I'm a Lebanese man. They can't see the difference between us.

I look at him for long. I say, "Oh! That kukujamaku something. You want tell me that so-so all of the Lebanese people in this country that this thing, what-you-call-it?

He answer, "Some of the people yes, but not all, you have different-different groups here, and two main ones, the Shiites and the Druze."

I look at him for long time again. I say, "You brave. I not understand why Lebanon war you not able to sit down there, but Liberian war you able to sit down here. But you part, you my friend. The way how your own of religion thing sounding, that just like my society bush. That one self, we can't talk it. But from today you my brother. From now-now, anything happen, just look for me, I your friend, yah?

He laugh at me. He say, "I spent a long time in this country. Anytime Liberian countryman says he's your friend, he's coming to ask you for something. But I like your business! I agree, anything Kato, you're my friend.

African Insurance

As a young child I had a great fear of death, but as I grew older that fear subsided. I realized the Lord had a time for me, that was not immediate but at some point would come, and I decided that before it happened, I should try to live a good life and do my best to prepare my soul by good deeds.

As I grew older my next great fear was of embarrassment; I was so afraid of being ashamed that I hardly spoke for fear of saying something inappropriate. My religion, however, teaches that he or she who is shy will not be a good student. The logic probably being that the person will be too afraid to ask questions, or to read, write and speak out loud and stand to be taught and corrected. So I strove and learned to overcome that fear and studied and worked hard to gain an education. Working nights, I put myself through school and today have a college degree. Hallelujah!

As an adult my next great fear was for the protection of my family, and it is one I doubt I will ever be able to overcome. What if God forbid my wife or child were to fall ill and I not have the ability to pay for the medical bills? I also worried very much about my parents, and how to help care for them. To manage the fear for my family's welfare I took out a medical insurance policy, and to my absolute astonishment, not long later my wife was diagnosed with an incurable medical condition and the best option was a new experimental medication that cost over US $500 a day, which they said might have to be paid every day for the rest of her life.

I witnessed several miracles. First, the insurance paid for the treatment. Second, we can throw the diagnosis of two years life expectancy the doctors gave out the window, it has been more than ten years now and the lady is looking and feeling even better today than before we even knew she was sick, and she is no longer on the medication. Third, the doctors said she could never have children and survive, and that we should forget the prospect altogether. Well, later they changed their minds, and she has given birth to a beautiful smart girl who is now seven years old and very playful. Praise the Lord!

However, eventually there comes that time when Our Heavenly Father comes to call his children to return, the mission they had for their life on earth complete and passed on to others. Having fallen on financial hard times, I am not financially prepared to handle the cost of a funeral, or even the return ticket back to Liberia, where thank God, my father is alive. Then I hear about a dear friend, upon whom the very thing I greatly fear has befallen. Right now as I write this, he is stranded in a snow storm in America, without the cash to buy a return ticket home, or to pay for the funeral. Life's tests never cease.

Thank God for African insurance. I did what I could financially, and now I am using the abilities I have been blessed with to pass on this message. Those of you that are willing, and are touched by the situation of my friend have an opportunity. Please find it in your heart to make a contribution. So far about $700 has been gathered to assist him and his family. Any small amount you are able will help. If many of us contribute even $1 each, we can be proud of helping one of our brothers. It is also your own insurance and ticket to Heaven you will have purchased.

I will not be handling any of the money, but details on who to contact are given below. I trust the person and have since we were in elementary school and if otherwise I would not be recommending him. There are good people. Praise G-d!

To get updated information or to assist join the: "Support for John and Dorcas Tamba" facebook group. You can find it among the groups I am a member of. Veteran missionary and longtime friend Alan Shea will be managing the collection.

Proposed Ideas for Discussion Concerning Education in Liberia

Preliminary Discussion on the State of Education in Liberia

It is recognized that the task of developing an appropriate educational program to address the needs of the public in Liberia is overwhelming. Like many developing nations and post-war countries, the Government of Liberia has relied heavily on UNICEF and other NGOs to assist in setting the tone, but their efforts have focused mostly on perceived basic humanitarian needs rather than on addressing education. This policy should not be criticized as the needs specified are indeed dire. A list of challenges facing the children of Liberia and relevant statistics can be found at the following site: http://www.unicef.org/infobycountry/liberia.html . What should be challenged is the haphazard implementation of the UNICEF in its work on the ground, and the great disparity between the allocated amounts devoted to feasible projects, educational materials and local training as compared to expatriate employee salaries. In spite of this, one must be extra careful when criticizing aid from a foreign source.

Specifically regarding education, the following information is quoted: "Half a million children do not attend school. Two thirds of students are being taught by unqualified teachers. Girls’ enrollment rates lag far behind those for boys." The last quoted sentence is questioned by this author and likely results from UNICEF's overzealous pro-gender equality orientation, however, it must be stressed that these points quoted regarding 'education' are not the most severe of the challenges facing children in Liberia; nonetheless, education must be focused on as part of a comprehensive solution. The Herculean nature of this task makes it auspicious to propose radical and creative solutions specifically customized to suit the Liberian setting. That is where a movement for CHANGE can have a relative advantage.

For the record, it should be stated that 11% of the national budget is allocated to education, which is a reasonable percentage by international standards, although the majority of nations tend to spend more. However, the amount of national budget is so low, that to use an analogy — it is a cup of water where at the very least a bucket of water is needed. The situation being so grave, one might suppose that use of the budget has been focused on a single locality in the country, for example the capital city Monrovia, as has been done in the past. The current Minister of Education must be praised for conducting a very balanced distribution approach, taking into account all 15 counties. Since 2006, the Ministry of Education has been trying to get a comprehensive grasp of the situation, formulating a network of regional administrators, developing a salary system, gathering a list of existing schools, and the names of salaried and volunteer teachers in each one. Many volunteer teachers were put on salary and selected schools renovated which was a moral boost throughout the country, particularly in the interior. However, the process is painfully slow and does little to promote the existing standards.

To keep to my self imposed 100-200 word limit for educational proposals I must be very brief and schematic and specify general ideas that can be developed. Below are listed three programs we can consider promoting to supplement what currently exists.




Proposed Liberian Educational Programs

1. Promote a national service program that enlists the aid of educated exiled Liberians, with guaranteed renewal of passport for citizens residing abroad in return for service. Many nations have mandatory national service programs (or military service) and these are usually 1-3 years for each participant citizen. A good example for the structure of this program can be that of the US Peace Corps. This would be a good way to strengthen the connection between exiled Liberians and their country, provide return opportunities and could even encourage Afro-Americans and Afro-Europeans to consider the prospect of a renewed idealistic "Back to Africa" movement. The idea of uprooting and returning to Liberia once settled abroad is a scary prospect for many Liberians; but many of a nationalistic nature would flock to contribute 1-2 years of national service to the Liberian people and gain a cultural experience for basic low salary if a well organized limited program were to be promoted. Many who participated in the project might chose to return of their own accord.

2. Promote the study of writing in indigenous languages as an intermediary step to teaching English writing skills. Many have not considered the fact that English is in fact a second language to the majority of Liberian citizens; therefore it has gone largely unnoticed that this is one of the major reasons the ability to teach writing skills to the majority of people has been so stunted. Another stumbling block is the fact that the English the majority of people do speak is based on pidgin grammar and pronunciation. To begin to teach someone to write in a foreign language without first bothering to teach them to write in their own is to skip a step and cognitively makes it much more difficult for the prospective student to gain the skill. I was fascinated by how much quicker a Dan child could learn to write in the written script developed and taught by LIBTRALO and how much better he performed than average when later taught to write in English from others who had not previously learned to write in their own dialect. The same would probably hold true for the majority of indigenous language speakers.

3. Promote a radical new curriculum that diverges from that of the rest of the world including the West African Examinations Council (WAEC). We could chose to be bold leaders and develop a curriculum uniquely suited to a people with 60% illiteracy, a historic culture based on oral literature, and a modern age of technology that renders the ability to 'write' largely unnecessary. If we so decide to do, let's be proud of it! Writing was developed before such technologies as cellular phones, photography, the Internet and the possibility for tape-recording and webcam video interaction. For sure writing and arithmetics has its uses and should be taught as well – as special courses, but 'universal curriculum' can focus on our cultural heritage and subjects such as chemistry (alongside traditional healing), environmental studies, oral poetry, music, the art of debate and conflict resolution, practical electronics and mechanics (or physics), sports, and any number of issues historically addressed by the Poro and Sandae Societies. Thus our citizens could achieve self defined and advanced international scientific and artistic achievements without the need to write a single word! Illiterate indigenous people could be hired as instructors, and we could soon teach interested foreign student delegates, rather than vice versa.

Radical, true! Bold, yes. But is the current reality really any better?

The Trouble with Snowe

Okay, at the risk of making a grave error and tarnishing the name of one of Liberia's senior politicians, or several of them, I have decided to address an issue head on that has been bothering me for a while. It may surprise you to know that corruption is not the issue. While Liberia certainly does have a lot of issues to deal with, and not the least of which is indeed corruption, let's ignore that well chewed topic for today and focus on a different one, inefficiency.

Before returning to Liberia in 2006, one name I had been hearing a lot was that of Edwin Melvin Snowe, Jr. His name was usually not related by the media in a positive context and I came to associate it with corruption, power politics, and behind the scenes maneuvering of a negative nature. Pictures of him dressed in a black suit and wearing a top hat did not do much to improve his image in my opinion.

Then one day to my great surprise, as I was walking by ELWA junction, who should appear at the gas station to address the people as the market people were being driven back from the road by the police? Snowe. The very same man I had only previously seen in newspaper pictures was there in his black suit (minus the top hat) yelling and sweating profusely for the whole world to see. Nobody that has recently been in Liberia can question but that those market people and their stalls needed to be driven back from off the road, but needless to say, Snowe was not very popular on the street that day. Nonetheless, he was there. No other politician was. At the time I did not know whether to criticize his outlandish appearance or be impressed by the fact that he dared to appear there at all.

Another day I was on Tubman Boulevard trying to catch a taxi to Broad Street. I don't need to explain to people in Liberia that you need to be able to run and physically force yourself in to be able to get a space in a taxi nowadays. Who to my absolute utter surprise should stop for me and offer a ride in a large fancy black vehicle? You guessed it. Snowe. One would think I am trying to promote him, but I am simply stating a fact without being judgmental about his motives for stopping.

Having acclimatized myself to many of the changes undergone in contemporary Liberia and with his name fresh in my mind I started to notice that the few bus stops and taxi stations actually constructed (and with cement!), had "donated by Edwin Melvin Snowe and 'wife'," painted on it. Forgive me, I no longer remember which wife, but her name was at the time painted there, not the word 'wife.' Suddenly it hit me, the government can't put together decent stations for public transportation, or even form a public transportation system, but the best looking stations in the country that people were standing at trying to catch taxis all had the name of a specific individual painted on it. Two questions came to mind: what kind of publicity stunt was this and where did the money come from?

Not long into 2006, the great hope I had for the then new president gave way to familiar exasperation and downright apathy. Again, it wasn't the corruption that had me so deflated. First, I was astounded by the inability of the government to assess the national and international situation and take appropriate measures for the benefit of the people and country. The best they could do was through its incompetence try to hold the United Nations personnel in place for as long as possible with little thought as to what would happen if and when they decided to pull out. I wondered that the people in government did not seem to realize the United Nations has never been dependable anywhere in the world. Did they not realize that at the first sign of serious conflict the UN would pull out all non-essential personnel and business people would be running behind them? And if things got worse, the UN troops themselves would leave in a hurry? How many countries would let their troops die on Liberian soil?

Thank God the people themselves were tired of fighting and after so much destruction it was no longer productive, even to the warlords. The general consensus among them seemed to be: why fight when your position is secure and you have a more safe and dependable source of income in government, even as the opposition? Don't get me wrong, anything that can keep the warlords and the rest of the people from fighting is good. If we must bribe them and keep them in government to put down arms, so be it.

The problem was not only the incompetence of the government but what I viewed as very misguided policies and even worse implementation. The policy of globe trotting when there is an acute need to roll up one's sleeves and do work at home is just plain wrong. The excuse for it was the need to generate international support and encourage influx of business and investment. Has that been forthcoming? I venture to suggest more would have been accomplished by investing in better websites, slashing the bureaucracy involved in opening a business, establishing a better tax system, simplifying the procedures for importing, or best of all, establishing the necessary infrastructure for internal transportation and industrial zones. With the exception of establishing an infrastructure, all the above would have cost far less than the budget for traveling abroad and would have been far more productive.

Very well intentioned but probably worse was the decision to radically alleviate Liberia's debt problem at the expense of national development. That comes from over-identifying with the bank's perspective. In effect, it killed all prospect of generating much needed influx of capital for development projects. So the United States goes hat in hand to China to beg for a loan to save their economy, the Chinese take years to build roads they promised in Liberia that they potentially could have overnight because funds they hoped to receive were not forthcoming, and we Liberians stand there looking helpless and stupefied. The up side is the president actually kept her promise — no loans.

So much has been said about the high number of educated and qualified young Liberians that have studied and gained experience abroad. Let me put that case to rest quickly! If you are not on the ground, you are not relevant. The Jewish people have been in the Diaspora for 2,000 years. It is only when the doctors and lawyers among them decided to brave the malaria, drain the swamps by physical labor, get dirty and formed little agricultural settlements called kibbutz's that the modern State of Israel was formed. In 65 years, see what they have achieved. However, that is an exception to the rule. Most exiled people vanish within a few generations. How many of those living in the US truly believe their grandchildren will be going back to Liberia? As for prospective politicians living in the US that plan to return home only after winning elections — just stay there. It is better you invest your money and energy to form a US Liberian lobby and rally for your proposed country's financial support.

I am not criticizing lightly. I do believe the President tried her best, and she certainly did not receive all the international or local support she needed and deserved. But the world is a harsh place and lessons must be learned fast. I am proud of the president's public appearance and that of her cabinet. Her visual image is nothing less than spectacular and she has definitely earned her place in the history books. Just by virtue of being a woman, she has earned headlines. Unfortunately, for other reasons, so have Samuel K. Doe and Charles G. Taylor. And poor George Weah who I considered a superstar has managed to descend from superhero status to the pits of a swamp by his totally inappropriate bid for the presidency, and his appalling behavior in the aftermath of the election results that just confirmed he was not the man for the job.

So we have a president and ministers that are all very impressive looking, well spoken and highly educated. Unfortunately, not one of them knows how to change a leaking facet or how to wire an electric circuit. That in itself is not a problem; the problem is they don't want to know how to do it, and they have not provided the country with people who do understand plumbing and electricity. Our leaders should be effective, not just well spoken and impressive looking.

In anticipation of the election fever that will soon be sweeping Liberia. It is time for some hard questions. So what does that leave us to depend on? I suggest a very questionably educated new class of local intelligentsia that are practical, have risen through the ranks and are fully invested in the country. The more successful among them are the most likely candidates. Snowes and such: hence the problem. I heard the rumor that Snowe is afraid of international indictment which is why he won't leave the country. That is certainly food for thought, but the fact of the matter is that the new leaders of Liberia will probably be people that you run into on the streets of Monrovia, not Harvard lecture halls and international conventions. Hopefully they will also be people that know how to fix the plumbing and electricity and not just those who know how to fire weapons.

Rabbi Eliezer and Elijah the Prophet

Today I would like to relate to you a story I recently reread, that I had not thought about in a long time, but immediately brought to mind the Liberian situation. It is a story that illustrates the Kabalistic philosophy that everything is for the best, even though it often doesn't seem that way. Sometimes, all you need is a little more information, and you can turn the incident inside out and draw a very different conclusion.

* * *

One day, Rabbi Eliezer prayed to the Almighty for a vision of Elijah. Elijah the Prophet appeared before Rabbi Eliezer and said to him, "What can I do for you?" Rabbi Eliezer said, "I'd like to follow you around. I'd like to watch you do your work in the world for the Holy One, Blessed be He. I just want to follow you around and watch you do your work."

Elijah the Prophet said to Rabbi Eliezer, "Sorry, you can't follow me around. You'll have too many questions, and I don't have time for your questions." Rabbi Eliezer responded, "I promise I won't ask you any questions. Will you allow me the honor of watching you do your work?" Elijah the Prophet agreed to that condition, and off they went.

That night, the two were looking for lodging and saw a dilapidated shack. They approached the shack and discovered a young, poor couple, impoverished and owning little else besides one cow, living there. Elijah the Prophet and Rabbi Eliezer approached the couple and asked them for lodging, and the young couple greeted them warmly, welcomed them in, and gathered some straw to make the two strangers as comfortable as possible. They offered their guests whatever they had, and Rabbi Eliezer and Elijah the Prophet spent the night.

When he awoke the next morning, Rabbi Eliezer overheard Elijah the Prophet praying to the Almighty, asking that the Almighty kill the cow. No sooner had Elijah the Prophet expressed this prayer than the cow suddenly died.

Rabbi Eliezer was outraged and said to Elijah, "What did you do? Why did you ask the Almighty to take the life of the cow? They were such lovely people. They have next to nothing. Why did you take their cow?" Elijah the Prophet looked at Rabbi Eliezer and said, "See, you have so many questions. Eliezer, though confused, quickly responded, "Please forgive me. I want to follow you. I won't ask you any more questions." Elijah gave him another chance, and off they went.

The next evening they were looking for lodging and arrived at a big mansion. They knocked on the door, and the owner of the mansion came out. Greeted them coldly, and agreed that they could stay down in his cellar. He offered them no human warmth, no physical warmth, and no food, and down to the cellar they went. During the night, Rabbi Eliezer awoke upon hearing a commotion. He watched as Elijah the Prophet patched up an area of the cellar wall that was unfinished and crumbling.

The next day, they continued traveling and arrived at a synagogue of wealthy congregants. The pews were made of gold and silver, and the people in the synagogue were cold and unfriendly. When Elijah the Prophet and Rabbi Eliezer entered the synagogue, nobody greeted them, and nobody performed the mitzvah (good deed/commandment) of welcoming guests. In fact, they noticed people whispering about them behind their backs. Before they left the synagogue, Elijah the prophet looked at the congregation and said, "I pray that you should all become leaders."

They entered a neighborhood that was impoverished. The people were living in squalor, but they were very lovely, sweet, warm, gentle people. Elijah the Prophet looked at this neighborhood, looked at these people, and said, "I want to bless you that one of you should be a leader."

It was at this point that Rabbi Eliezer couldn't hold his questions in any longer. He said to Elijah the Prophet, "I know you are going to send me away. I know that you required me not to ask questions, but I beg you, please can you give me some understanding of what you've been doing? I don't understand anything that you're doing. I beg you. Can you offer me some kind of explanation?"

Elijah the Prophet looked at Rabbi Eliezer and said, I'll offer you some explanation, but then you'll have to leave. Remember the first night when we encountered that lovely yet poor couple living in their shack with their cow? And remember how outraged you were the next morning when you heard me praying to the Holy One, Blessed is He, that he should kill the cow? What you didn't know was that it was time for the wife to die. But I pleaded with the Lord; I beg you don't take the wife, take the cow."

Elijah said, "You recall the next night when we were put in that rich man's cold cellar? And you woke up puzzled when you saw that I was repairing his walls and fixing them up beautifully? I wasn't doing that. I knew that there was a treasure buried within the walls. The man who owned that mansion didn't deserve the mansion, let alone the treasure buried in the walls, so I patched and finished up the walls nicely so that no one would ever discover that treasure."

Elijah the Prophet went on. "Remember the next day, when we went to that synagogue that was so wealthy, with the gold and silver pews, but all the people were so unfriendly? I noticed how confused you were when you thought that I'd offered them some big blessing by saying that they should all become great leaders. That wasn't a blessing; it was a curse. Anyone who has ever been in an organization knows the chaos that results from everyone thinking that he or she is a leader. I prayed that they all should become leaders. And then we went to that poor neighborhood, and the people were so sweet and so lovely, and you wondered, in comparison to the earlier so-called 'blessing' why I would just say, 'I bless you that one of you should be a leader.' You see, that indeed was a blessing. All that neighborhood really needed was one good, strong leader who could take the people out of the poverty and squalor that they lived in."

Elijah the Prophet then said to Rabbi Eliezer, "Yes, you have to leave now, but please don't forget that what you see in the world is not the whole picture. It's only part of the grand picture in the mind of the Almighty."

Why We Can't Engineer a Sewage System

Okay, another break to my semi-real self.

If you have not watched VBS.TV's The Vice Guide To Liberia — it's time you watched it!

Every phrase uttered in their 8 series program warrants thought and commentary, but I am going to skip all that and let you think about it for yourselves. What I will do is post part 3 of the series for you to watch here on this blog and below that a comment I posted on their board.



"Dear VBS team,

I am a great fan of your journalistic work! I want to praise you for going to those locations that even we Liberians (of slightly better circumstances) try to avoid. However, I would also like to correct a slight misunderstanding of our unique culture and practices. You may follow my blog to learn more. Jdkato.blogspot.com

Ghandi came up with passive resistance and Martin Luther King Jr. with the civil rights movement. Not to be undone, we Liberians have come up with collective-public-shitting as a means of protest. Some of us would rather do it closer to the central symbols of national and international authority but we can't afford transportation fees.

Thank you and please keep up the good work!"

* * *

VBS.tv is an online television network owned by the Vice media conglomerate. The network produces original, short-form, documentary-style video content. Subject matter includes humanitarian issues, music, insider travel guides, and news. I recommend signing up on their site and watching their programs. And it's FREE!

The producers of VBS make no claim to being objective; in fact they stress the fact that they are subjective. In my opinion, this in no way negates their relevance. Although the picture they present is dramatized and grim, I for one am happy they took the trouble to visit Liberia. It shows several sides of Liberia many of us never take the trouble to see. What they don't do is make a constructive argument as to how to remedy the situation. But then as Liberians, that is up to us.

Although this program tarnishes our image, at the risk of much criticism I will state plainly it exposes 2 issues I completely agree with.

1. The UN is NOT doing a good job.

2. Neither is the current Liberian government.

Both of the above claim that they lack sufficient budget and I am sure they are right. Still, that does not excuse them from not doing more with the little they have. The people are unemployed. How much does it cost to have them dig a sewer and fix a military style mass latrine with 20 planks of common wood? Even those small limited funded NGO's in the interior are doing it in dozens of towns and villages. It doesn't take a doctorate degree. Instead of wondering why the inhabitants don't do it for themselves, educate and put those poor hopeless people living at West Point or put those useless troops and their heavy machinery to work before they pull out.

Either the UN or the people themselves if properly organized could do it. And please, PLEASE... I beg you, PLEASE don't think of opening a national bid, so that you can waste a lot of time, and somebody can be dashed to spend even more government money, so that more people can eat the money and worst of all - the job still not get done.

Before I Meet Tubman

So I thinking now, eneh that Cellcom them the one bringing Akon? Let me go look for job there. Anything, I not make it, I can beg them for ticket. But one thing, I not like to pass that way in taxi. Right to the junction there, soon you pass National Police Headquarters, that the place the police can stop every taxi car them for eating business. When the cab-man not want pay straight, the thing can waste too much time. This time the police them looking too scary to take the cash just like that; they can make you fold the thing small-small, then they doing just like they shaking your hand, they take it. But he not want let you pass until he see what-thing he get, so you got to wait for them to open it. That's another more wasting time again.

I now reach inside Cellcom office, come see the place yah! The place fine past the NGO office self. And soon you reach inside that so-so fine girl them working to customer service. To see man there hard, except for the technicians and the Cellcom people own of customer. But for job business I not want go to customer service area; I go straight to the big white man manager office.

I not know what-place the man come from his own of seree not sound too correct, but the man very friendly. He say I must wait small I see he talking to one fine-fine Liberian girl and some different other people, they in meeting. The girl too fine! When they say fine! That it there. The girl looking all right in the body. I just looking at her I hear the customer them talking say that the granddaughter of President Tubman from normal days. Just like to say my heart coming jump from inside my body. I thinking say that good-good thing to marry, but eh! Where I coming find the dowry for that kind of thing? I go Guinea I buy cow, I put Akon ticket and put ten lappa suit over it self, I not know if it can make it.

World War I II & III time simple machine gun business, you know somebody who controlling the area, I collect the girl, she for me. But nothing like that this time with the UN people all around; and I want the girl bad way. The respect I get for Tubman, haya! I just thinking how in ever-since time the big-big chief them used to marry the Congo people them daughter? What-thing they used to give, I not know. And what-thing the chief them used to get too when the Congo people used to carry their own of daughter?

When you not get good-good education you not able to make it this time. When you get correct education any kind of girl you want it for you. This time every thing chakla chakla. Everybody get tribe. But nobody want talk it plenty. They call that one ethnic politics. When you not get tribe who will vote for you? So-so of the Congo people when you ask them their tribe – one can tell you say he Vai, the other one say he Kpelle. Old Ma self say she Gola; and then she white woman on top of it – they say her Grandpa that one German man. Way in America, the Oprah Winfrey woman, I not see her she not come Liberia self, the people talking say that big woman she Kpelle. Then the educated people what get real tribe and know the society bush – small time they go America - they come back just like to say they Congo now. But for election time everybody get tribe.

So-so for nothing confusion. Since the war, the upcountry people packed up in Monrovia. So-so of them just sitting down in Monrovia doing nothing good. Everything they supposed to teach them in the interior, Poro and Sandae Society, they now forget it. The same thing what happen in the school system in Liberia, that the same thing happen in the society bush. No good education! Those young-young people not know small snake medicine self. How to respect their elders and how to protect their women, all that one they forget it. Just to sit down in town. That what make it those small-small children smoking all kind of things follow behind the people for gun business and acted that kind of wicked way. For what? Just looking for money and no plenty money in town. The real money in the bush. White man and all know that one, but black man not want hear it.

I thinking all this things, for the fine woman business it leave small I almost forget about the Akon ticket. But soon I see the white man give me chance, the woman and other people now go, I jump inside the man office.

I tell him say, "the woman too fine, it for you?"

He laughing at me. He say, "no, she's working here on a project."

I ask him say, "that President Tubman granddaughter?"

He say, "I have no idea. What does that matter." He looking at me confused.

Then I ask him, "then what-thing you hire her for? You not know that big woman?"

He say, "that doesn't concern me. I'm not in government and I don't care about politics. I hire the best person for the job. I don't care who she is connected to or where she is from, or her color, or even whether she is a woman or a man. This lady is very professional and has good credentials. She was the best person for the job. She does her job very well. I don't care about anything else."

I thinking say, yeah, white man real different for true. It not like that in Africa o. But the Tubman woman real clever for true and do well for herself, if she able to learn book the white man hire black woman over white man – even self she Tubman.

I say, "myself come here to look for job."

He say, "I don't have any available positions right now, but what are your credentials?"

I say, "I able to work hard."

He say, "I'm sure. But what are you able to do?"

I say, "I able to throw shovel, I able to make farm, I can able to build house, I can even able to do diamond work. Security job and all – I can able it. I able to read and write self – but it not too correct – for the war business no good school, but I now get two double promotion and pass to the sixth grade."

He say, "that is impressive. Unfortunately I don't need any of that right now."

The way he talking fine to me, he convince me no plenty way there; so I say let me just beg him for one Akon ticket. I ask him for the ticket now, he look at me he smiling.

He say, "I'm happy you asked me for a job first. Most people in Liberia just want free things, but the answer unfortunately for you, is still no.

I ask him say, "What for? The way you looking good so. And I know you get plenty ticket."

He say, "that is not the point. Suppose you came here for a ticket from a far away place, and I didn't give it to you. How would you feel?"

I say, "I will feel bad. In fact I coming from way Red Light."

He say, "I'm sorry to hear that, but just imagine I came from very far away. Even further than Red Light. In fact I came here by airplane from a great distance - just to get money. So I'm selling tickets. Suppose I don't get the money, how will I feel?"

I look at him for long time. I just feeling weak in the body. I see the man alright for talking, but for money business the man get real dry face. He too sabe.

A Weird Thought Occurred to Me Today

As I was thinking through some issues I was dealing with on one of my other blogs, in fleetingly considering this one, I suddenly felt quite the opposite sentiment I felt when I wrote the last log entry here. Suddenly, it was not very important to receive response. The act of thinking things through was satisfying in itself.

One of the problems I sometimes view myself having is that I can think a lot faster than I can type or even speak. That in itself is not a problem; the problem is that if I don't grab a thought and slap it down, it often slips away fleetingly before I have a chance to give it flesh and blood. The writing process helps me breathe life into it, so I can file it away for later purposes. The thinking process helps me do the same thing, but I often have such a gush of thoughts, it is like trying to catch a river with your fingers. Writing down some of my thoughts to an imaginary audience gives me a bowl to capture them, whereas discussing it verbally, either a thimble or bucket, depending on the intensity and depth of the conversation itself.

I love writing. Although I am often both fascinated and ashamed to read what I wrote in the past. As I grow more mature, and arguably wiser, my thoughts evolve. So much so that sometimes I wonder at how much wiser I was before; but more often the case, at what an idiot I used to be. Luckily, I used to lose a lot of what I wrote on scraps of paper. This new computer and Internet age and the ability to save and distribute so much material so widely and quickly is something I am probably going to regret.

Blog Reading Instructions

Me part, I like reading. And I enjoy writing too. I now fix my fine-fine blog but the material too long. Each chapter of the J.d. Kato story that 2-3 pages and that’s just too long. Even though it's written on a narrow column for easy computer screen reading and it get nice-nice pictures of me on the top and on the side, it's still too long.

To break it up and make it more interesting; (and that new word I now learn — versatile) I coming add shorter articles, notes, jokes, cartoons and so-so nonsense between the story chapters. For those ONLY interested in the story: you can follow the story in chronological order from the bottom up. The way to do that is as follows:

If you go to the first posted story, "Before You Judge Me," you can continue by clicking "Newer Post" at the end of each chapter. Skip everything except the titles that begin with the word — "Before…" For example: (1) Before You Judge Me, (2) Before Akon Come, (3) Before I Meet Tubman, and so forth.

I'm also thinking of adding some small suggested music on here. But most importantly, I think I am coming to add some non-suggested music here too! Because Liberian music can make me too vexed!!!

LIBERIAN PEOPLE ARE SO TALENTED!!! And we are so intelligent! We are so sweet!!! And our women can shake their tumbas like nobody else in this world. But we don't like to work together, we hardly compliment each other, and I don't understand why so many of us waste our talent on so-so shi*! Then when we finally get around to producing something half decent, we leave it just like that. Half decent! I checked utube to see what kind of good Liberian music I can add, I sit down for over one hour just shaking my head. WTF!!

I will lie if I say I didn't enjoy it. But it's not professionally presentable. Okay. So Sundaygar Dearboy has some good material out there. Friday the Cellcom Man is his same hilarious self. There are all the good gospels, particularly in our native dialects. Even quite a few new things I was not aware of. BUT one good Fatu Gayflor clip I couldn't find!! And where is all the other good ol' stuff?

Yeah. I'm pissed off. But my main beef is with these new Liberian-American artists… The R&B wannabes… Please. Yaw got the talent.. but yaw can do better.. Just keep working at it. Many of yaw still chir-ren. Yaw get time. So take yaw time and please, please, produce something good before rushing to upload it. On second thought, just upload it. It gives me something to complain about.

If you upload something terrible. Something stink. Something absolutely rotten! You risk having it exposed. This is my first friendly warning. If you find yourself on my blog, you either did something good, or you quite possible didn't.

It's not like we don't have good music. Or musical talent… AND GOD KNOWS WE KNOW HOW TO PARTY! The ability to party is something the Lord blessed us with in limitless quantities. Even at the worst of times, just pass on the streets of Monrovia with a loud radio and see what happens.

…and when it comes to style, with the possible exception of the Nigerians, nobody can even hold a candle to us. When we're out to zoot. ..and we decide to set for them; we leave even those aristocratic masters of fashion in our dust with their mouths gaping open. So what's up brothers and sisters?

Let's see more fantastic material out there.
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(Above) My Latest Favorite Bassa Gospel
It takes 3 minutes to warm up good :o)
Nyezwoooe yah ma

Before Akon Come Liberia

I still in prison waiting for trial, but let me think back some the important event what happen before I reach the place I at today. For instance 2006; the day I hear say Akon coming Liberia: come see me happy like hell running all up and down looking for another more job to buy ticket. But the thing that happen to me the time I was looking for job for Akon ticket business, eh yah! To find job in Liberia that small thing?

They say Liberian people lazy? That lie! This time Liberian people not lazy o! Soon morning people all on the road trying to catch car. Sometimes 5 o'clock self. To catch car in Monrovia today, that thing self that work. And if you bless you get car; that so-so traffic you coming sit down inside. Then everywhere you look, those pekin them selling. Those yamma yamma boys pack up to Red Light, to ELWA Junction, and all in town. To Broad Street o, Randell Street, Caray Street, Education, Waterside, Across the Bridge, Duala. You go interior self, just stop Ganta – so-so of them rushing to sell you any kind of thing. The thing that fall in their hand, that it they selling. Whole day they passing-passing. They not know which way to go to sell the thing what they carrying.

Market women the same thing. Pack up, pack up. And this time, people not for market. All those market places them that Nancy Doe built, they spoil in the war; the Old Ma rebuild it, but the people not want sit down there. Everybody want sell on the main road for customer business – but I not want talk that one today. Olden days, so-so Mandingo and Fula people selling. This time everybody want sell. You Loma o, you Mano, you Kpelle, you Kru self you selling. Congo people and all want sell, you must know. So I say, let me leave from behind this selling business. Let me look for correct job.

Thank God for Old Ma. At least this time, government job can pay you. No plenty waiting business. But the money can be too small. That time, 2006, one bag of butter rice that 28 dollar US in town, and the pusawar rice what the big-money people them can eat that 60 dollars US – but that one not for me. Then rentage. House money that small thing? Then on top of that they say the good Akon ticket that 100 dollar US. Then I want buy one good-good dokafleh to bluff. Then again, ever since, my ma in Nimba County say I must send her small something from in town. I put the money together I know government job can't make it. I thinking say let me look for one good NGO job.

I pass around, pass around, I see one fine NGO office to UN Drive. I say, let me go inside. I go inside – the place looking too clean. Just like in the American show. Soon I inside I see one black woman, but she talking clear Seree; I not know she from Zaire or what, so I go to her, I say I want job.

She say, "the posted job?"

I answer, "Any job." She looking at me.

She say, "Are you qualified?"

I say "yes."

She say, "How are you qualified?"

I say, "I looking for money."

She say, "No. I meant how many years of education have you had?"

I say, "12."

She say, "Oh! Do you have a high school diploma?"

I say, "No. That six years I spend in first grade, before that, I spend three years in A B C class the time I was in the interior, because they not get no good teacher. So everybody just learning A B C, A B C whole day. Then I now come in town now I getting small money, I able to dash the teacher, I get two double promotion! I finish to the sixth grade.

She looking at me some kind of way, so I thinking let me talk something quick yah. It looking like she too serious over the high school diploma business.

I say, "it leave small I almost finish high school with diploma, only thing I not woman, I man.

She say, "what do you mean?"

I say, "I smart. I know plenty book. I able plenty work. But you know how things are in Liberia. The condition not correct. I was coming be woman, I now finish high school long time self with diploma."

She say, "are you referring to what I think you are referring?"

I say, "I must explain the thing to you? You not see so-so of the woman them in college and university? Not to say all, but plenty of them, how they get there so?"

She say, "I'm thinking outside the box here. Maybe you are the right person for the job – to get through to the people. You understand the mind concept. God knows we need something. I'll have to discuss it with human resources, but first you have to fill out a job application and come for an interview."

I say, "what the job?" and she answer, "the job is as an instructor teaching safety awareness and sex education to indigenous people."

I hold my face straight, I not want laugh. I thinking say the job already for me, but these people real stupid for true. Thank God for that! The thing what every African person know and can do it, that it they want I must teach. How they think we manage to be plenty so? Yeah! Teaching job that good thing. Plenty chopping inside.

So she show me the way, I go look for human resource office. I passing looking, the place looking complete correct. Yeah, the people office fine o. I find the place. I go there I see one white woman. I tell her say, "I come for my job."

She say, "what job?"

I say, "the sex education job – I the instructor. The other black woman that can talk seree sent me, she say the job for me. I must just fill out application and come to interview, but what time I must come collect my money, she not talk that one."

The way this other woman looking at me I know she not want give me the job. She coming block me.

Her face looking too serious she say, "that you shall receive the position is not a foregone conclusion. There is a vetting process and many qualified persons have applied. In fact, we especially recommend qualified persons of the female gender to apply and several have already. However, if you feel that you are qualified, you're welcome to apply as well."

Here I was thinking say the job already for me I know this other woman coming block me. So I say to myself, let me beg her.

I coming talk to her, I say, "you woman I hold foot, I need this job bad way for Akon ticket business. And my ma self, she not get enough food. I not send her mattress. Long time I not send her soap money. She way to Nimba County. Small thing self I not send it. She vex with me like hell. This job that the correct job for me. And I know sex good-good. Ask plenty women in town and all in the bush. Small-small girl them, big-big woman o, all I now pass there."

The woman tie her face and dress back, so I grab her foot to beg her. The woman yell, "Leave my leg that's sexual harassment."

I say, "I just want beg you. That our African way."

The woman hollering, "Security!"

Myself get scare and run away. This time, rape business that not small thing in Monrovia. Soon the Old Ma hear that thing, it true o, it not true o – that the main thing can make her vex. I say let me move from these people before for job business they come put me in jail. Thank God self I not fill out job application, before the people come know what-place to come look for me they send policeman. Let me go find job different place.

How This Blog Began

After writing a short social-romantic story set in a Liberian village my fingers were still inching, so I decided to write another short piece inspired by a real life event that took place in Monrovia, and write it in the style of an amusing satirical resume I had once read on facebook. The short piece that I now considered a short story in its own right only took about an hour write, but the more I reread it, the more I found allegory and morals had seeped into it subconsciously. So I pasted it on my facebook notes and tagged a few family relatives and friends to find out what they thought. The results were quite astounding. A number of people I hadn't tagged commented immediately to my immense satisfaction, but some of the more interesting comments came later in my private inbox. Some people had found the story absolutely hilarious, but at least one person claimed to have been brought to real tears by some emotion it had triggered.

Personally, the short piece generated a complex combination of feelings in me; and I had left the ending of the story open intentionally, with no intention of continuing it. Again to my surprise a large majority of comments from the readers requested a definite ending. I had no clear idea of an ending at the time, and certainly no outline of how it should continue, but I figured what the hell — I'll just use the same character and use him to explore different national events from his perspective and write one story at a time till I had enough to combine in an anthology.

By the time I completed the second story I knew I didn't want to revisit some of the more haunted events of Liberian history, but I did want to explore some of the less savory idiosyncrasies of Liberian culture, and some of the positive ones as well. Contrary to my usually solitary nature, I also knew that I now craved response. Response I was no longer getting on facebook. The reason for this? Your guess is as good as mine, but I have a feeling the reasons are at least threefold: (1) I have never cultivated a broad readership, (2) a longer story would not be quite as interesting — most Liberians are not avid readers, and the colloquial language style made it difficult for non-Liberians — and who want to read a lot of small print of it in facebook? (3) Maybe I was being read but nobody wanted to respond publicly using their real name. Then again, maybe I was just plain annoying.

Whatever the case may be, I decided to continue writing the story as a public blog, and eventually edit and print some of the results in book form. A vague outline emerged in my mind, but I never wrote it down or fleshed it out on paper. Leaving open possibilities for the story to develop helped me to explore both the reality and the fictional material with fresh insight each time I sat down to write.

I decided to evolve the story into an interactive blog. Therefore your opinion counts! I am open to the idea of revising each new posted chapter according to public opinion. By voting on character decisions, you can determine in which direction the next story flows. I don't claim to be bound by democracy, but public pressure counts for something. Everybody is welcome to comment. My only request is to please try to be courteous — at least to one another. If I draw fire, I figure I deserve it, so please feel free to blast at me to your hearts content. None of the stereotypes I reflect are written in stone, and yes, even I make mistakes… sometimes.

The subject matter is not necessarily pleasant and the opinions and stereotypes I present are not necessarily my own; although I have to admit, some of the peculiarities of my thoughts do come out in the various characters voices, including that of Mr. J.d. Kato himself. I do exaggerate a lot. Unfortunately, concerning some issues, the reality on the ground is even more gruesome than the fiction. If you have been in Liberia anytime recently, or even in the past, you can probably often tell the difference. Although, it never fails to amaze me that many people, and surprisingly, even many Liberian people simply can't.

This is probably not a fault. I have had the benefit of studying psychology, sociology and anthropology and have been professionally trained to rapidly assess sub-cultural values for the purpose of analyzing and effecting population control in times of natural disasters and emergencies. Among other things, I am a population officer in what can questionably be considered a humanitarian relief organization. Don't ask.

I hope you enjoy reading my posts at least half as much as I enjoy writing them. It has helped me explore some of my own views. My hope and challenge is that it will help you explore some of your own as well.

Before You Judge Me

I hold your foot to read my statement. Before you judge me, y'all should understand that I didn't join the neighborhood patrol just to eat free rice, but I took the job very serious. The arm robbers in our area were acting too frisky on us, so we the young men of the neighborhood decided we needed to join together to protect our homes and family at all cost. None of us had gun. I not even get rubber or flashlight, so I borrow cutlass from my big sister and my uncle who live on the same road give me one bonanza phone to call police but I not get no money on my phone, so no way to call.

On the very same day the something happen, I see the UN police (that big-big red car) with one Liberian policeman inside, they call him Jackson. He say anything, I must call him; but time to call him now, he can't answer. And the fat white policeman who can sit whole week in the car, he not come too. I beep him, beep him. No answer. I send him, "please call me" message. Still he not want call me. But wait now. Let me start from the beginning.

That night 12 o'clock I wake up and go to Mrisses Peabody who can give us our tea, sugar and one cup of rice for the night. Then I go wake up my friend them for the patrol. Myself buy the condensed milk. Joe and Smith wake up straight, but Billy not wake up that day. He say he too tired, and he was acting too lazy so myself get tired and leave him. I was happy self because I was too hungry and the rice was not sufficient to fill all our guts. That's how we manage to be three of us.

Everything started alright. Those short-short men that can patrol on the other side of the road started ringing their bell easy kind of way so we know everything fine on that side. We decided to go check up the hill, the place where Victor them men at, but we not pass far we see some kind of man passing behind one house with something on his head just like he not want nobody to see him. So I blow my whistle and challenge him straight. You know these days that not heart-men time but people can catch you for kidneys so we brave on him.

The man started begging so I ask him, "whatin in your bag?" He not want answer so I was coming flog him good, but he get scared and drop the bag. Joe open the bag, then all of us see the man now steal somebody dog. I was damn vex! But what to do now, the dog already dead. So I slap him and tell him to go quick before I change my mind. The man run away straight. When we finish coming down the hill and sit down by the road to cook our food, one yellow taxi was running on the road bad kind of way so we say let's put up road block. Supposing that armed robbers. No way to stop the car.

We getting ready to cook our rice and dog now, we spy car light coming down the road so Smith get up to see who's that. Before he can stop the car, we see that's one Nigerian UN pick-up, and the way it was running, the thing run straight into the roadblock. All the block them buss! Come see the Nigerian soldiers jumping from the pick-up, so so of them with their AK-47. We just standing looking at them. But soon the chief officer spy us he start yelling, "They get machete! They get machete!"

I look at him for long time and suck my teeth before I answer him, "Move from here man. That thing you calling machete that my sister cutlass o."

He say, "that's a weapon of war."

I say, "whattin?"

He say, "do you know that they used that thing in Biafra? You're an armed robber."

I look at him for long time. I not want talk the thing what I thinking: they too stupid, that's the reason Charles Taylor's pekin them didn't play to kill them in the war. I was vex like hell now but what to does?

I tell him say, "the armed robbers, y'all can't arrest them, y'all self know that some of the police - they the armed robbers, then that the neighborhood patrol who protecting the people y'all want arrest?"

Then he ask me, "what is in the bag?"

I say, "that something we seize from one rogue."

One of the soldier open the bag to see inside. Soon he spy the dog he acting just like he get vex, then all of them started pointing their gun them to arrest us. They started talking their Yoruba-Ibo dialect to steal our dog. That how they bring us to jail. Don't mind those people now finish eating our dog, long time.

We come to jail now the people say the Old Ma vex. The people complain too much so she coming execute all the armed robbers they capture.

Eh my people! If that thing true, that for dog business y'all coming execute me?